Resurrection

Prelims over. It may not have ended, in fact, it just started. The main UOL exams is beginning from May. The thought of it really push a person's mood to the limit.

I wondered if sometimes it's really my problem or others. I prefer not to say anything when I sense something is amiss. The party may, in fact take this opportunity for blaming you for ignoring them. Don't they think further? Sometimes, things that I do, may not be in favour of others but why is others keep blaming me for the way that I react rather than reflecting where the problem really lies? It may not always be me, it can be themselves. And when you reason out, unknowingly, their reaction will be, why you always reason out? This entire thing may get started with themselves not others and they choose to blame others and never themselves.

I'm getting tired of this family, this place that I'm staying. There is practically no comfortable place to be at home. A pest is around and everyone is praying to get it's favours. I wonder why? Anyone who starts to fight back, gets nonsense from people who pray at the pest. Studies is very important, especially at my stage. My future depends on how well I do in LSE. A good job and salaries depend much on it. My future house, my ideal home, my comfortable environment........

CC introduce me to some rich household whose kids of primary 2 and 4 needs expertise in their mathematics. Though I have agreed but I'm having second thoughts. I remembered that I hated math during PSLE, especially the part on allocating units. I wondered if the kids ask me to solve something that I, myself doesn't know shit, how am I going to get away with it? Dilemma; To tutor = earn extra cash for my studies. To let go = look for another better job.